Australia Is A Scary Place

I’ll readily admit it, I live in constant fear of being stung, bitten, or chomped to death whilst here in Australia. Coming from England, where there aren’t many species of reptile or insect that will do much harm to you, it’s a terrifying prospect that I now live in a country with more living organisms, both on land and in water, that could kill me than anywhere else in the world. If I found a spider in the bathtub in England, I’d pick it up and throw it out the window. Here, I take a deep inhalation of breath while my eyes simultaneously widen of their own volition, before I freeze for a good few seconds, then whimper and run swiftly out of the room. I have no idea whether the insect that just scuttled across my path will cause me intense pain and possible paralysis or is completely harmless. I would like to point out at this juncture that I am not the only one who feels this way – I have spoken to several British male engineers out here that have confessed to the very same fears.

On our first full day here, I had to force myself to sit out in the garden for a couple of hours to try and conquer my fear of what may lurk amongst the grass, under the bushes and in the trees. The tickle of a droplet of sweat down the back of my neck, a fly landing on my arm or a blade of grass brushing my leg sent me into wild panic. Was that a white-tailed spider dropping down from a tree? A western brown snaking its way through the grass? Some sort of deadly animal as yet unknown to me (of which, in Australia, there are many)? The thought that I could be killed or maimed in my own garden is a terrifying thought. Any time I confess my fears to an Aussie though, they’re brushed aside with a wave of a hand and assurances that bites and stings are fairly uncommon – I get the usual speech about how usually the venomous creatures that could send me into floods of pain or certain death are more afraid of me than I am of them. Yup, still not buying that one. I was sitting in my aunty’s back garden in Adelaide, the day after we arrived in Australia, when she breezily told me that she had found a redback in one of her bushes. This is a spider that, with one bite, can cause untold agony and possible death if not treated promptly and she was talking as if it was merely a pesky house spider. I suppose you can’t live a life in fear, and if you’re brought up with these dangers, you learn to treat them with respect but not worry about them too much. I guess I will just have to learn to relax a little bit more too, and I’m slowly getting there. This morning I heard some leaves rustle and didn’t even turn around. Well, not for at least a second or two anyway.