Nightmare On Spider Street

Last night I had a vivid dream, although it’s probably more accurate to call it a nightmare. I was in a city (just a random, faceless city – it could have been anywhere) with two friends, on our way somewhere when I had to stop for some reason. I urged the others to go on without me, assuring them that I would catch them up. It wasn’t until I had reached an unfamiliar underpass that I realised that I didn’t really know the way. I decided to take the underpass anyway, with the hope that I might recognise something on the other side that would help me get me bearings. I walked up to it and immediately noticed the huge spider’s web stretching across the entrance and, in the top left corner, the creator – a tiny arachnid. There was a gap in the middle just big enough to fit through if I dived in so I bravely (or stupidly) did just that, landing in a heap on the dusty ground. It was dark and dingy and eerily quiet, and suddenly looked a lot more like a narrow tunnel. I picked myself up, dusted myself down and turned towards the far end.


Now that I was inside the dark underpass it was plain to see that there were hundreds of webs criss-crossing the path ahead, all the way to the end. In each one was a little spider. I knew that if I tried to make my way through them all I would surely get bitten by one of them so I turned back to the entrance with the intention of jumping back through the first web to the light and to safety. It was then that I looked up at the roof of the underpass and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen outside of the movies. It looked like a big, hairy, long-legged tarantula. I screamed and ran through the web, forgetting momentarily about the spider that lived there. Out in the light of day, and away from the dingy, spider-ridden interior of the underpass, my hammering heart started to slow, my breathing gradually evening out. I looked back and saw an ordinary underpass, large and brightly lit. It was then that I woke but I can still clearly see the image of that huge spider in my mind and just thinking of it gives me the chills and sends my heart racing. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to figure out what that all meant. I seriously need to get over this obsession with Australia’s creepy crawlies and stop thinking there’s something about to get me with every step I take. Operation Stop Being So Bloody Scared Of Everything In Australia will commence soon.