The Death of an Expat Wife

Expat Wife will soon cease to exist. Before you start to panic and recommend the suicide prevention hotline, I must clarify that statement. I am not about to depart this mortal world, merely my status as Expat Wife, for the Husband and I are set to return to the UK after 2 years and 3 months living in the hinterland. It is slowly sinking in but I still can’t quite believe that in just a few weeks we will be returning home. Home. It’s a funny concept. I suppose it is ‘home’ – we own a house there, most of our family and friends live there, we are, after all, British. It says so in our passports. Well, OK, mine also says New Zealand but I can’t really claim to be a Kiwi seeing as I’ve only been there once when I was 4. However, ‘home’ for the last couple of years has been Pattaya and Karratha. Yes, we might have complained about certain aspects of our time in Thailand and Australia but at the end of the day, home is what you make of it. It would be sad if we really felt that we have been thousands of miles from home all this time, just biding away our time until we can return.

I’m going to get all philosophical now but one thing I have learnt through being an Expat Wife is that you have to live in the here and now. It sounds like a cliché but when applied to the life of an expat, especially a temporary expat, it is the only way to avoid constantly missing what you’ve left behind, something I’ve seen happen to too many people. To do that, you have to set up home wherever you are. Photos and other personal items help but it’s more about living in the present – accepting the country, the accommodation and the situation you are in and making the most of it, not constantly thinking about when next you’ll be back home, not wishing away the days, the months, the years. Because that’s exactly the problem – before you know it you’ll have been away for a few years and have been miserable the entire time. That’s years of your life that you’ll have lost to frustration, anger and melancholy.

I have also personally learnt that we could make a home for ourselves anywhere because - wait for the cheesy, vomit-inducing moment – home is wherever the other is. As long as we are together we’ll be alright. So, we’re going back to England for now but who knows where home will be in the future. I’m sure that Expat Wife won’t be gone for long.