The Mother has sent me a clipping from a recent issue of Hong Kong’s biggest English-language newspaper, The South China Morning Post. It is an article detailing the housing shortage gripping the Pilbara, and the astronomical prices of houses as a result. It made me laugh, not because this isn’t a very real issue because it is. As the article reports, the median house price in Karratha is a whopping AU$775,000, 49 percent more than Sydney’s. If you want to rent a four-bedroom home here, you’re looking at AU$10,000 a month – that’s triple the average apartment rent in Manhattan. It’s absolutely ridiculous and completely unaffordable by anyone who’s not making a mint in mining or oil and gas. The crazy living costs, which don’t just end at house prices – you pay an arm and a leg for food and entertainment too – make it very difficult for those in the services sector to live here. Some end up having to ‘hot-bed’, renting a bed which is taken by someone else as soon as they get up.
No, that’s not what I find funny except in a crazy, surrealist sort of way. What made me laugh out loud is the way the journalist of this article described Karratha, as a ‘fly-ridden, cyclone-prone outpost’. I’m sure the tourism board and council would have been happy about that. Come and visit Karratha, you’ll love it as long as you have a passion for flies and cyclones. WA’s government acknowledges there’s a severe problem regarding the dichotomy which exists between the workers needed to sustain this resources boom (which accounts for a great deal of the money being generated in the state) and the lack of housing able to accommodate them. That is where the new ‘Pilbara Cities’ scheme comes into place. Western Australia Premier Colin Barnett is planning to transform the Pilbara’s hubs into sustainable cities, places where people move to permanently, who live here rather than just work and wait to go back to their real homes. Money is being poured into the scheme, which plans to build extensive facilities such as shopping centres, cinemas, restaurants and marinas, as well as affordable housing, in the hope of attracting 50,000 people to places like Karratha by 2035. Clearly, they’ve got a long way to go. Who would want to live in a ‘fly-ridden, cyclone-prone outpost’? With a reputation like that, the government will never manage to encourage skilled workers and their families to up sticks and make a life for themselves in Karratha. They need to change hearts and minds. And perhaps invent some sort of widespread fly eliminator.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The Best Show On Earth
Last year I spent my birthday in Pattaya doing a bit of shopping and having an aromatherapy massage, the year before that I was viewing the English capital city from the London Eye, but nothing could top this year. I thought that my birthday in 2010 would be a wash-out as, after all, there is not a great deal to do in outback Australia – no city to explore, no amazing shops, no luxury spas, no museums. But what Karratha lacks in urban entertainment, it certainly makes up for in entertainment provided free of charge by nature and we were given an exclusive show at the beach on my birthday this year.
The first act was Ray, a red-edged stingray swimming steadily up the beach in the shallows, keeping to the shoreline to ensure we had the best view. How very kind of him. His dark, phantom-like shape gracefully glided along in a perfectly straight line. Ray was followed by The Dancing Dolphins, who put on a great show. The breaching dolphins leapt into the air, seeming to hover for a few seconds before diving back down into the sea, only to re-appear and do it all again. They effortlessly jumped straight up, curving their bodies as they flew, re-entering the water with barely a splash. It was a beautiful thing to watch and it felt like they were doing it just for us. This was better than anything I’ve ever seen at a sea-life centre and knowing that they hadn’t been trained, that they are free and happy, made it all the sweeter. We felt like the privileged few to have been granted a private viewing.
The third act to take centre stage was a rather playful turtle, who swam around in the shallows near the rocks, which seemed to house an abundance of food for him. He was rather pre-occupied with stuffing his face but every now and again he would stick his little head up out of the water, look around and then dive back under. He seemed to forget that he was performing to a crowd – I think his manager needs to have words with him. Later in the day, as the tide was rapidly receding, leaving rock pools in its wake, we spotted a small red octopus. Or rather, we were spat at by a small red, decidedly grumpy octopus. A reluctant performer perhaps – he certainly had an attitude problem. Maybe he was just working the emo look. Any time we got in any way close to him, he’d spit water at us, I assume to warn us away. A small guy trying to act tough.
On top of the main acts we were also treated to performances by pelicans, small fish, and an assortment of coastal birds. We paid nothing to see this live sea-life show and it was the best I’ve ever been too. Despite my doubts, Karratha served up a truly first-class birthday.
The first act was Ray, a red-edged stingray swimming steadily up the beach in the shallows, keeping to the shoreline to ensure we had the best view. How very kind of him. His dark, phantom-like shape gracefully glided along in a perfectly straight line. Ray was followed by The Dancing Dolphins, who put on a great show. The breaching dolphins leapt into the air, seeming to hover for a few seconds before diving back down into the sea, only to re-appear and do it all again. They effortlessly jumped straight up, curving their bodies as they flew, re-entering the water with barely a splash. It was a beautiful thing to watch and it felt like they were doing it just for us. This was better than anything I’ve ever seen at a sea-life centre and knowing that they hadn’t been trained, that they are free and happy, made it all the sweeter. We felt like the privileged few to have been granted a private viewing.
The third act to take centre stage was a rather playful turtle, who swam around in the shallows near the rocks, which seemed to house an abundance of food for him. He was rather pre-occupied with stuffing his face but every now and again he would stick his little head up out of the water, look around and then dive back under. He seemed to forget that he was performing to a crowd – I think his manager needs to have words with him. Later in the day, as the tide was rapidly receding, leaving rock pools in its wake, we spotted a small red octopus. Or rather, we were spat at by a small red, decidedly grumpy octopus. A reluctant performer perhaps – he certainly had an attitude problem. Maybe he was just working the emo look. Any time we got in any way close to him, he’d spit water at us, I assume to warn us away. A small guy trying to act tough.
On top of the main acts we were also treated to performances by pelicans, small fish, and an assortment of coastal birds. We paid nothing to see this live sea-life show and it was the best I’ve ever been too. Despite my doubts, Karratha served up a truly first-class birthday.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Summertime Blues
I have today learnt a couple of valuable lessons that will help me segue into life in summertime Karratha.
1)Never open your mouth when running, even to breathe. It is an incontrovertible fact that you will swallow at least one fly and probably more. You must master the technique of breathing in and out through your nose only if you don’t want to be like that old lady. You know, the one who swallowed a fly. Hopefully I won’t die. But then I won’t be swallowing a horse.
2)Always bring water with you when you go for a run, even if it is 5pm and you’re only running for 20 minutes. It is still only spring here and it is hot. It is very, very hot. 36 degrees centigrade today. Thank God for air-conditioning. Unfortunately, that only works at home and not while you’re running outside. Water is essential to ensure you don’t collapse in a heap by the side of the road.
I am sure I will learn further lessons, all the hard way, in the next few months. Summer in Karratha is going to be tough but with air-conditioning, ice cream and chilled white wine I am sure I will get through it. I’m not sure how much longer I will be able to run outdoors though. Jane Fonda might once again become my friend.
1)Never open your mouth when running, even to breathe. It is an incontrovertible fact that you will swallow at least one fly and probably more. You must master the technique of breathing in and out through your nose only if you don’t want to be like that old lady. You know, the one who swallowed a fly. Hopefully I won’t die. But then I won’t be swallowing a horse.
2)Always bring water with you when you go for a run, even if it is 5pm and you’re only running for 20 minutes. It is still only spring here and it is hot. It is very, very hot. 36 degrees centigrade today. Thank God for air-conditioning. Unfortunately, that only works at home and not while you’re running outside. Water is essential to ensure you don’t collapse in a heap by the side of the road.
I am sure I will learn further lessons, all the hard way, in the next few months. Summer in Karratha is going to be tough but with air-conditioning, ice cream and chilled white wine I am sure I will get through it. I’m not sure how much longer I will be able to run outdoors though. Jane Fonda might once again become my friend.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Free and (not so) Easy
It turns out that being a freelance writer is hard work. When I was in PR, chained to my desk in a stuffy office, having to deal with pushy journalists, hundreds of phone calls and getting called in to meetings, I thought freelancers had it all. They didn’t have a boss to answer to, they didn’t have to prove how successful they had been over the past month to senior management, they didn’t have to get up at an ungodly hour, dress in a suit and travel an hour on the train to get to work. I longed to be a freelancer and, more than anything, I longed to write for a living. I didn’t want to have to beg journalists to include our products in their magazines anymore, feeding their egos and treating them to drinks, lunches, treatments – I wanted to be the one who’s ego is fed, who is taken out and fawned over. I wanted to be the one who held the power of the press in my hands and who is sent products and asked to experience spa treatments. But more than anything, I wanted to write and only write, to be able to sit in front of a computer all day and tap away at my keyboard, happily playing with beautiful words, crafting them into articles and features. I wanted to be able to get up when I wanted, to throw on some comfy clothes and work wherever it suited me – on the kitchen table, in the garden on a sunny day, in a coffee shop, even in bed if that’s what I felt like. I wanted to be answerable to no-one but myself and the publications I wrote for. I wanted to be able to only write what I was passionate about, to work on projects that I thought were fun and exciting. I wanted the freedom of being my own boss without the massive overheads and crippling responsibility of owning and running a fully-fledged business. I’ve wanted all this for years and now, finally, I am a freelance writer and journalist. I’m getting paid to write - how great is that?
But – and here is the big but – it isn’t quite the nirvana I thought it would be. It involves a lot of hard graft, especially at the start. You’re working for yourself now, you don’t automatically get paid no matter what. You can’t always just leave it ‘till tomorrow or Monday. If you want to get paid, and get asked to work again, you have to deliver amazing results and on deadline. I have been working twelve hour days, six days a week, and freelance writing does not pay mega-bucks so you struggle on and still have to check for discounts at the supermarket. Oh, and something else nobody told me, you can’t just pick and choose cushy jobs, especially not at the start – you won’t get offered the fun, exciting, glamorous, headline-grabbing stuff for years, if you ever do. At the beginning you need to take whatever is offered to you, you need to establish a good reputation for quality work, you need contacts and you need experience.
But –and here is the bigger but – it is all completely worth it. One hundred percent. I love writing, some types more than others, but any writing is better than some of the corporate stuff I used to have to do. And working for myself is a revelation – yes, it’s hard work and yes, you have to have immense self-discipline but the satisfaction and self-pride you get when you’re even offered job, let alone when you complete a job well and get paid for it, is worth it all.
But – and here is the big but – it isn’t quite the nirvana I thought it would be. It involves a lot of hard graft, especially at the start. You’re working for yourself now, you don’t automatically get paid no matter what. You can’t always just leave it ‘till tomorrow or Monday. If you want to get paid, and get asked to work again, you have to deliver amazing results and on deadline. I have been working twelve hour days, six days a week, and freelance writing does not pay mega-bucks so you struggle on and still have to check for discounts at the supermarket. Oh, and something else nobody told me, you can’t just pick and choose cushy jobs, especially not at the start – you won’t get offered the fun, exciting, glamorous, headline-grabbing stuff for years, if you ever do. At the beginning you need to take whatever is offered to you, you need to establish a good reputation for quality work, you need contacts and you need experience.
But –and here is the bigger but – it is all completely worth it. One hundred percent. I love writing, some types more than others, but any writing is better than some of the corporate stuff I used to have to do. And working for myself is a revelation – yes, it’s hard work and yes, you have to have immense self-discipline but the satisfaction and self-pride you get when you’re even offered job, let alone when you complete a job well and get paid for it, is worth it all.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friends With (Political) Benefits?
So it seems that Kevin Rudd’s settling in nicely to his new role as Foreign Minister. He’s done pretty well out of all this really – Julia Gillard may have unceremoniously kicked him out the back door but he’s having the last laugh. She gets to deal with all the headaches of being Prime Minister which, at the moment is centred around the controversial and deeply divisive issues of the mining super-tax, asylum seekers and climate change measures, while he gets to jet off around the globe, meeting foreign dignitaries and having a lovely time. Most recently, he visited the United States where he met with both Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. Tony Blair may have had a ‘special relationship’ with George Bush but Kevin Rudd seems to have a very special relationship with Hilary Clinton.
Hil and Kev bantered like a couple of flirtatious teenagers at the press conference they held. After gushing that “I feel very much as if I am here among old friends, we’ve known each other for a long time and I look forward very much to working with you,” Rudd revealed, with a twinkle in his eye, that when Clinton visits Australia in November, “we intend to make it a very good time”. Clinton gave one of the dirtiest laughs I’ve ever heard, Rudd smiled knowingly and insisted that he meant it, “not in the sense that you all think.” Clinton was then quick to reply, “Oh I’m not so sure about that.” Wait, so he did mean that they’re going to have a good time in that way?! It sounds like Hilary’s going to give her husband a taste of his own medicine! “We’re a hospitable people,” Rudd explained. Very hospitable apparently. Good on him, he deserves a bit of fun after the year he’s had!
Hil and Kev bantered like a couple of flirtatious teenagers at the press conference they held. After gushing that “I feel very much as if I am here among old friends, we’ve known each other for a long time and I look forward very much to working with you,” Rudd revealed, with a twinkle in his eye, that when Clinton visits Australia in November, “we intend to make it a very good time”. Clinton gave one of the dirtiest laughs I’ve ever heard, Rudd smiled knowingly and insisted that he meant it, “not in the sense that you all think.” Clinton was then quick to reply, “Oh I’m not so sure about that.” Wait, so he did mean that they’re going to have a good time in that way?! It sounds like Hilary’s going to give her husband a taste of his own medicine! “We’re a hospitable people,” Rudd explained. Very hospitable apparently. Good on him, he deserves a bit of fun after the year he’s had!
Friday, September 17, 2010
The 'O's Taking Over Australia
Want to know what the biggest news in Australia has been this week? You may be thinking that the American hiker freed from jail in Iran after more than a year made top news here. Or perhaps the evacuation of the Eiffel Tower following a bomb threat. You would be wrong. Not even the signing-in of Julia Gillard as Australia’s first elected female Prime minister was given much coverage. There have been just two stories making the headlines Down Under over the past few days. For a while, at the beginning of the week, all Australia could talk about on its news broadcasts, chat-shows, and current affairs programmes was the tenth anniversary of the Sydney Olympics. Yes, a sporting event that happened ten years ago was given precedence over globally important, breaking news stories. Hosting the Olympic Games is obviously a massive coup for a nation but, seriously, it was a decade ago. If I saw any more clips of Cathy Freeman crossing the line in her hooded unitard, I would have thrown something at the TV. And I quite like that TV. Then again, looking back to an event ten years ago is far more exciting than discussing the dreary and uninspiring election campaign which resulted in a load of politicians deciding (and... really... dragging... out... the... decision...)who was to lead the country anyway. Aha! I see what they’ve done there – good diversion tactic, Australia! Take all your citizens back to a time of national pride and celebration and hope that they forget about the longest, most drawn-out and down-right boring election ever to be held.
All talk of the Sydney Olympics was silenced mid-week as the country began to look forward to the most exciting thing to happen to it since that magical September ten years ago. Not since the height of Beatle-mania has a people been caught up in such mass hysteria. And all this because Oprah Winfrey is visiting. Oh my God, Oh my God, I think I’m gonna faint – not Oprah, the Queen of all she surveys?! This is like the best thing ever to happen to Australia since Kylie started wearing hot pants!! The news has been full of her impending visit, accompanied by three hundred audience members and hundreds more film crew and general entourage. It has been the leading headline on every single news broadcast since Oprah announced it on her show on Tuesday. When I say announced it, I of course mean screamed it. Again and again and again. “We’re going to Australia! We’re going to Australiuuugh! We’re going to Auuussstraliuuughhh!!!” It was like she was on drugs, she was just repeating it over and over again like some mad old lady. Perhaps it was because her audience was going absolutely ballistic and she wasn’t sure if they were actually able to hear her over their screams. Now that’s what you call mass hysteria. Screaming, crying, jumping up and down like crazed loons. I’m surprised those women didn’t need to be hospitalised and sedated with horse tranquilisers after that. It was frightening. God knows what they’re going to be like when they actually get here.
But Australia can’t wait. Or at least the Australian Tourism Board can’t. For Oprah, one of the richest people on TV, isn’t paying for this hugely expensive trip – Australian Tourism is, shelling out a whopping AU$3 million for the pleasure of having her and a load of Americans invading the country. According to Martin Ferguson, the Tourism Minister, it is money well spent as it will put Australia on the map. Yes, perhaps Americans will even be able to find it on a map now. And no, Australia’s not in Europe, that’s Austria. Let’s hope those American audience members actually know where they’re going. OK, so her show is watched by 40 million Americans and is broadcast in 145 countries so Australia will undoubtedly get great coverage – over eight days they will travel across the country, visiting many of Australia’s tourist hotspots - but I don’t think she deserves quite as much adulation as is being bestowed on her. What I found really sad in its sheer, hopeless, shameless desperation is the plea from someone from the Western Australia Hotel Association to Oprah to visit the state as it has been left out of the nation-wide plans. According to him, Tourism WA only found about the visit hours before the public announcement. Saying something along the lines of, if Oprah doesn’t come to Western Australia that will be the end of tourism him forever, he sounded like a teenager having a tantrum. Maybe we in WA should be thankful – do we really want hundreds of screaming, over-excited Americans invading this beautiful part of the world? The rest of Australia can have them.
Now, what of importance is going on in the world? Let’s get back to reporting proper news, please!!
All talk of the Sydney Olympics was silenced mid-week as the country began to look forward to the most exciting thing to happen to it since that magical September ten years ago. Not since the height of Beatle-mania has a people been caught up in such mass hysteria. And all this because Oprah Winfrey is visiting. Oh my God, Oh my God, I think I’m gonna faint – not Oprah, the Queen of all she surveys?! This is like the best thing ever to happen to Australia since Kylie started wearing hot pants!! The news has been full of her impending visit, accompanied by three hundred audience members and hundreds more film crew and general entourage. It has been the leading headline on every single news broadcast since Oprah announced it on her show on Tuesday. When I say announced it, I of course mean screamed it. Again and again and again. “We’re going to Australia! We’re going to Australiuuugh! We’re going to Auuussstraliuuughhh!!!” It was like she was on drugs, she was just repeating it over and over again like some mad old lady. Perhaps it was because her audience was going absolutely ballistic and she wasn’t sure if they were actually able to hear her over their screams. Now that’s what you call mass hysteria. Screaming, crying, jumping up and down like crazed loons. I’m surprised those women didn’t need to be hospitalised and sedated with horse tranquilisers after that. It was frightening. God knows what they’re going to be like when they actually get here.
But Australia can’t wait. Or at least the Australian Tourism Board can’t. For Oprah, one of the richest people on TV, isn’t paying for this hugely expensive trip – Australian Tourism is, shelling out a whopping AU$3 million for the pleasure of having her and a load of Americans invading the country. According to Martin Ferguson, the Tourism Minister, it is money well spent as it will put Australia on the map. Yes, perhaps Americans will even be able to find it on a map now. And no, Australia’s not in Europe, that’s Austria. Let’s hope those American audience members actually know where they’re going. OK, so her show is watched by 40 million Americans and is broadcast in 145 countries so Australia will undoubtedly get great coverage – over eight days they will travel across the country, visiting many of Australia’s tourist hotspots - but I don’t think she deserves quite as much adulation as is being bestowed on her. What I found really sad in its sheer, hopeless, shameless desperation is the plea from someone from the Western Australia Hotel Association to Oprah to visit the state as it has been left out of the nation-wide plans. According to him, Tourism WA only found about the visit hours before the public announcement. Saying something along the lines of, if Oprah doesn’t come to Western Australia that will be the end of tourism him forever, he sounded like a teenager having a tantrum. Maybe we in WA should be thankful – do we really want hundreds of screaming, over-excited Americans invading this beautiful part of the world? The rest of Australia can have them.
Now, what of importance is going on in the world? Let’s get back to reporting proper news, please!!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Driving Sales
Yesterday The Parents signed the agreement to buy their parking space – refer back to my blog entitled ‘Spaced Out’, August 30th for more on that – so, soon, they will be the proud owners of their very own rectangle of concrete. This may not seem very exciting to most of you but in Hong Kong, parking spaces are like gold dust. It’s a savvy investment and means that they will no longer have to pay the monthly rent on their old space. Plus, this space is enclosed by a wall on three sides, meaning that they will not have to park next to anyone else – it will be their own little cocooned space. Ironically, although this is one of the things that attracted them to this particular space (there is so much to consider when buying a parking space) as it means that they will no longer have to put up with inconsiderate drivers parked right up against the line and they are less likely to be knocked, scraped or scratched by others, it actually made it a whopping HK$300,000 less than other spaces. Other spaces that were in fact in worse positions. Apparently, this is because many Chinese drivers do not like to be enclosed by wall as they worry that they will bash the doors of their huge BMWs and Mercedes against it. The space is plenty big enough to accommodate such cars (even if most of Hong Kong isn’t – monster ‘look how rich and successful I am’ cars are completely unsuitable for driving in a crowded city but of course they hold the most status and driving, as is most things in Hong Kong, is all about the S word) but most Hong Kong drivers are crap. Fact.
There are a few things you have to learn in order to be a competent driver in Hong Kong:
1) Your indicators are purely for decoration - you do not have to employ them at any time, and especially not when turning.
2) By contrast, your hazard lights should be used as often as possible – they are a brilliant multi-usage tool and can be used to indicate that you are slowing down, turning left or right, stopping in an inappropriate spot, having a conversation with your children, or changing your the station on your radio.
3) On a highway, you can drive in any lane you like, whenever you like. Fancy having a bit of a spin in the outside lane, even though you are pootling along at your own leisurely speed? Go ahead. Don’t want to move lanes at all? Just stay in the middle lane. There are a whole four lanes – just pick whichever one takes your fancy!
So you can understand why most drivers would prefer to pay thousands of dollars more in order to park their very expensive cars more easily. I am personally slightly worried about my own driving skills – with lanes in Karratha as wide as two lanes back in the UK and parking spaces big enough to fit the biggest of 4WDS, I think I might get a bit of a shock when I return to the narrow streets of Reading. Tight parallel parking on our street is not going to be fun. And, just remind me, what are traffic lights?
There are a few things you have to learn in order to be a competent driver in Hong Kong:
1) Your indicators are purely for decoration - you do not have to employ them at any time, and especially not when turning.
2) By contrast, your hazard lights should be used as often as possible – they are a brilliant multi-usage tool and can be used to indicate that you are slowing down, turning left or right, stopping in an inappropriate spot, having a conversation with your children, or changing your the station on your radio.
3) On a highway, you can drive in any lane you like, whenever you like. Fancy having a bit of a spin in the outside lane, even though you are pootling along at your own leisurely speed? Go ahead. Don’t want to move lanes at all? Just stay in the middle lane. There are a whole four lanes – just pick whichever one takes your fancy!
So you can understand why most drivers would prefer to pay thousands of dollars more in order to park their very expensive cars more easily. I am personally slightly worried about my own driving skills – with lanes in Karratha as wide as two lanes back in the UK and parking spaces big enough to fit the biggest of 4WDS, I think I might get a bit of a shock when I return to the narrow streets of Reading. Tight parallel parking on our street is not going to be fun. And, just remind me, what are traffic lights?
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