People-watching Heaven (and a mysterious tree)

Whilst on the beach, I observed many little oddities and quirks that made me chuckle, and I’ll mention a few of them here.

Multi-coloured Luminous Wetsuit Man – this was what I wrote in my notebook and I thought it summed him up nicely so I have kept it. What more is there to say really? He had arrived in a speedboat with a group of people who only stayed for about twenty minutes and, after a quick walk down the beach and back, spent the rest of the time in the shade of a palm tree. He was never even close to the sea, other than when he got back into the speedboat, preferring instead to remain at the back of the beach. Quite why he was wearing a full-length wetsuit was therefore rather a mystery, though perhaps he thought that the t-shirt he wore over the top made it suitable for a day trip. At least the baggy shirt partially covered the brightness of the wetsuit which, in the sun, was almost blinding.

His & Hers T-shirts – these seem to be currently storming Samet. During the course of one day I spotted two couples wearing matching t-shirts, something I thought was limited only to unfortunate siblings dressed by their parents. Luckily, The Parents never subjected The Brother and I to that (and, if you’re reading this, for that I will be forever appreciative!) but I have seen it many a time. Why do parents feel the need to dress their children identically? Is it in case they forget who they are? “Uh oh, I’ve done it again, I’ve completely forgotten what our kids look like. Ah, they must be the ones in the matching purple tracksuits and ‘I love Thailand’ t-shirts.” As cringe-worthy as it is to dress your children identically, it doesn’t come close to the horror of adults wearing matching outfits. We can see you are a couple, you are holding hands, you do not need to wear identical polka-dot t-shirts, as one of the couples I spotted (no pun intended!) did. To be honest, just one of them wearing this hideous multi-coloured t-shirt would have been bad enough but they obviously thought they were so nice they would each buy one. And then wear them at the same time. Perhaps worse than this fashion disaster was the couple wearing t-shirts that read ‘This is my boyfriend’ and ‘This is my girlfriend’, each with an arrow pointing to the other. One or both of them has serious possessiveness issues.

The Crying Tree – we discovered this strange tree on our first day, as we were sat next to it whilst by the pool. Every few minutes it appeared to shower water from its branches – in fact, The Husband at first thought that it was raining but, looking up into a bright blue, cloudless sky, we quickly dismissed that theory. We then had the thought that perhaps its leaves were simply wet from recent rain and were dripping when the branches swayed in the breeze, but it hadn’t rained in a few days. The following morning, we passed the tree on our way to breakfast and noticed that there was a circle of damp on the decking around the tree, indicating that it drips regularly. We never did find out why or even what type of tree it was. I tried Googling it today but found nothing. The mystery continues...

Thai Posers – this is a strange little quirk that I actually think is a far broader Asian thing. Despite the fact that many Thais are normally very shy, as soon as a camera is brought out they lose all their inhibitions and start posing as if they were on a photo shoot. Of course, they really are on a photo shoot, albeit one of their own making. Often this will involve a tripod and an umbrella to shade themselves as they pause in between snaps. Hugging a tree, lying on a rock, kneeling in the sea, every part of the landscape is utilised. If it is a couple, the man, who will always be taking the photos, will instruct his girlfriend or wife to pose this way, then that, looking back at the photos on the screen, then telling her to change her position slightly or flick her hair back. If it is a group of friends, the model will run back to look at the camera and will then flatten her hair, straighten her sunglasses, adjust the straps on her dress and re-pose. I lost count of the number of groups that would appear on the beach, take hundreds of photos of every possible pose and then disappear, probably to another beach to do it all over again.

I always think that it’s memories like this, that will be laughed about over a glass of wine with friends in years to come, that make a holiday.