The Road to Samet

Thailand celebrated a public holiday yesterday so The Husband and I decided to make the most of the extra day of freedom and spent the weekend in Koh Samet for three days of total relaxation. The Husband went to a leaving do the night before and managed to get horrendously drunk, falling (literally) into bed at around 4am (although the time is a complete guess as he himself admits that he can't really remember getting into bed at all). That gave him approximately four hours to sleep off his inebriation before I dragged him out of bed to shower, pack and get something in his stomach. For reasons unknown to anyone but himself, he decided that cornflakes would be a good idea for breakfast. I have always thought that milk and hangover do not a happy partnership make, and unsurprisingly, it wasn't long before I heard something that sounded like a cat coughing up a hairball emanating from the bathroom. It was about then that I started to feel very smug for feeling fantastic, having decided not to go out with him, knowing that a my-head-hurts-so-much-I-want-to-die hangover was inevitable.

I eventually managed to get him into the car and we were on our way out of an already busy Pattaya and onto the highway shortly after 9am, speeding south down towards the coastal town of Ban Phe where we were due to board a speedboat to the island. Highways in Thailand aren't like motorways in England. Black Box Recorder sang, "the English motorway system is beautiful and strange", though I would suggest that the line is actually more applicable to Thai highways. Nothing ever really happens on English motorways, other than the occasional mooner in a car carrying several university students in the neighbouring lane. For the most part, journeys on English motorways are monotonous, the very point of them being to allow a continuous flow of fast traffic to enable longer-distance journeys to pass more quickly. In Thailand, the majority of highways have junctions, which is slightly annoying but allows men and women to run in between the lanes, waving lottery tickets, newspapers and garlands of jasmine and orchids tied with ribbon to hang in your car for luck. They can still be seen weaving in and out of lanes as the traffic zooms off down the road. Their life insurance premiums must be through the roof!

The Thais also don't see the point of keeping food and drink vendors to appointed service areas - the side of the highway provides an excellent opportunity for trade with all those weary people pootling along in their cars and they make the most of that. We could have bought spit-roasted chicken, a variety of fruit and bottles of fruit juice if we had pulled up on the hard shoulder, although I'm not sure I fancied chicken marinated in diesel fumes. At one point we passed a group of monks, donned in their saffron coloured robes, walking along the side of the road. I don't think they were trying to hitch a ride, but I did wonder if we should pull over and ask if they needed a lift. Figuring they were probably on some sort of journey to enlightenment, we kept going, probably covering them in dust as we did so.

Rest stops here are far more, well, restful, than those in England. We passed a beautifully designed sala on stilts overlooking the paddy fields and mountains in the distance. Far more agreeable than sitting in a crowded Burger King with a child screaming for more chips beside you. I almost wanted to stop the car myself, even though we had only been travelling for about half an hour.

We arrived at the pier with plenty of time to spare and sat outside in the shade of an umbrella, waiting to be taken to the boat...