Strange Creatures by the Pool

There are currently a party of seven rather large Germans staying in one of the apartments in our development. A couple would probably be termed morbidly obese, the others stocky, perhaps bordering on obese. The mother has the neck of a weightlifter - I've never seen anything quite like it before on a woman. There is no clear delineation between her neck and head, it appears at first glance as if she has a box on the top of her shoulders. It is not helped by the fact that her hair is closely cropped to her head, only adding to the squareness. The father's moobs rest on his vast stomach, which disconcertingly hides his tiny swimming trunks, giving the impression that he is completely naked. The children, all in their twenties, have unfortunately inherited their parents' shapes yet also wear very tiny swimming attire.

I have had the pleasure of observing all this from the window in our kitchen as they have taken over the pool every day for the past couple of weeks. I say 'taken over' quite literally as they have sprawled across every inch of the area surrounding the pool. Towels have been placed proprietorially on each sunbed almost from dawn. In fact, that is how I surmised they were German. It is a lovely sight, the seven of them flopped on their sunbeds, flesh squeezing out between the armrests, slowly turning a particularly vibrant shade of raspberry. It is enough to make me want to drop to the ground and do one hundred crunches, followed by a half marathon. And I don't run. In fact, I'm just off to the gym now...